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Create deep and lasting connection with your children, built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
Join a community of peace-loving but overwhelmed parents and discover how to:
Manage challenging behavior and conflict using methods that are aligned with your love for peace and cooperation.
Establish order, calm and simplicity in your family life with practices and routines that actually work for everyone.
Speak in a way that your children are more able to hear and understand you.
Encourage cooperation and willingness in your children.
Create more inner peace allowing you to be more present, calm and regulated with your children.
Dear fellow parents,
If you are sitting down to read this, we're guessing that your daily life with children often feels chaotic and exhausting. You are probably trying so hard to make all the pieces work, and to bring about the caring, peaceful life that you want so much for your children. But when you are so worn down, it can feel impossible. How can you possibly have the energy to pull your whole family up when you have nothing left in your tank?
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Firstly, we'd like to offer you some reassurance: it’s not your imagination (…modern parenting really IS that hard, for complex reasons that we explore in detail here) and it's not your fault (we were never supposed to be able to do it all alone! See more here.)
Secondly, we would like to offer you some hope: From our own experience, and working with many other caring but exhausted parents, we've learned that transforming family life is a journey. While it may take time and effort, it's entirely achievable. With the right support, you don’t have to navigate this path alone. We invite you to join us and take this journey together towards a more peaceful and fulfilling family life.
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​Introducing: From Chaos to Connection
An 11-week online programme to support you to (finally) bring about the peaceful, connected family life that you are longing for (before the guilt, conflict and chaos wear you down).
Next intake: 10 March 2025.​​
Cost: Offered on a Gift Economy (pay what you are willing/able) basis (OR a $820 USD flat fee - see details below).​
Community
Motivation and support from a small group of peace-loving but overwhelmed parents to share, learn and grow with.
Support
The reassurance of weekly live group coaching sessions, expert teaching, weekly emails and a monitored group chat.
Ease
Online prerecorded lessons you can watch in your own time, from the comfort of your home.
Focus
The power of a short but intensive, transformation-focused programme to kick start your vision of peaceful family life.
“Everyday I am trying so damn hard, but I just can’t make it work!”
Lisa, Auckland, Mum of 2
*Name changed to protect privacy
Why is modern parenting so damn hard?
These were the tearful words of Lisa*, a mother of two who came to us because she was at the very end of her capacity to cope alone. She is a strong and capable woman, with a deep commitment to loving and peaceful parenting; but the challenges in her family had exceeded her capacity.
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She was struggling each day with school refusal, behaviour challenges, her daughter's recent autism diagnosis and a black-hole sized longing for rest and support. She was exhausted, alone and desperate to find a way forward.
Perhaps, like Lisa, you started your parenting journey with high hopes and beautiful dreams: you read a lot of books, joined a host of facebook groups and bought an organic bamboo sling…imagining many joy-filled years of warmth, laughter, and delicious moments of playdough-scented togetherness with your children.
Instead, and to your dismay, you find yourself exhausted and alone…. your lived reality may look less “sweet, rosy-faced connection around the dinner table” and more “bitter shouting matches and hours of numbing screens amidst piles of unfolded laundry”. Your house is a mess, the air rings with outraged tantrums, slammed bedroom doors and your shouted (but apparently unheard) pleas to “just get in the damned car, right now!”
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The more of these stories that we hear from the people we work with, the more we have come to see that this is not really Lisa's story, or your story, or my story…it is OUR story.
This the story of a generation of parents who are struggling in chaos and confusion, battling each day to give our children the love and care we sense they need during an unprecedentedly challenging historical moment.​ (See "Why is modern parenting is so damn hard?")
An alternative vision
for your family
If you are still reading, it’s probably because you sense deep in your bones that this is not the only way life could be.
You may have always suspected that your family life could be sweeter, lighter,
more joyful, and you have probably been battling for some time now to
bring about this alternative vision for yourself and your children.
Perhaps you long for a family life which would allow you to:
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Be present and engaged with your children.
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Find rest and refreshment when you need it, living each day knowing that your needs matter.
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Feel confident and assured in your parenting, and able to hold the reins loosely.
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Feel clear and focused on your vision, no longer confused by each new parenting trend.
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Create an easy, loving connection between you and your child based on trust, mutual respect and love.
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Hear your child's deepest fears and sadness about the world, offering insight, wisdom, and comfort as a safe harbour and trusted guide.
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Drink in warm and sweet moments of family togetherness, experiencing the real world together.​​​​
A reliable path to
family peace
If the challenges we face as parents are so global (you may be thinking….) how on earth are we supposed to fix them? What kind of superhuman effort might be required? You may be imagining that in order to create this peaceful vision of family life, it may require some kind of unattainable enlightened perfection that is beyond your current realm of possibility.
It is true, there is no magic fix for our parenting challenges. No amount of putting our child on the “Naughty step” or reward charts on the fridge will create the kind of peaceful family life that you yearn for. The journey from chaos to connection may not be an easy one, and is not one we can rush. It is, however, reassuringly straightforward.
After working in this field for some time now, we have come to understand that:
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1. The root of our modern parenting crisis is essentially a problem of disconnection.
We are living through what is quite possibly the greatest fragmentation of connection that human beings have ever known.​ We find ourselves profoundly detached from one another, from the broader communities and natural world to which we belong, even from our own inner world. It is within this extremely painful and generally unacknowledged social context that we peace-loving parents devote ourselves tirelessly to care for our children. But very quickly we reach the edge of our capacity, stumbling anxious and exhausted through each day. (Read more about this crisis of connection here).
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2. The only plausible fix is reconnection.
The prescription to a crisis of connection is a gentle, conscious and determined effort to reconnect: with ourselves, with our children, and ultimately with our communities and the natural world we live in.
There may not be a fast way to rebuild connection, but there are small, reliable steps we can take along a path that is predictable, scientifically verifiable and ancient. It is possible to interrupt the downward cycle we are in with our children by redirecting our precious time and energy into supporting new, life-giving patterns to restore connection with our children and rebuild family peace. ​
1.
Reconnect with yourself
Increasing your capacity involves learning to notice what is going on inside you, moment-to-moment, understanding what you need, and understanding how to care for your needs (especially when there are not enough hours in the day). This requires:
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Conscious steps to interrupt your habitual patterns of thinking and reacting and build awareness of your feelings and needs.
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Gentle practices to rewire your frayed nervous system and learn to self regulate in times of challenge.
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Creating daily habits that support you to stay regulated, present and to care for your own needs with compassion.
As you learn how to self connect, you slowly start to increase your capacity, gradually creating a little more space in your cup.
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A little bit of space is enough.
This is the wisp of oxygen that allows the spark of connection to explode, allowing small but noticeable (and sometimes quite dramatic) transformation to take place in your family life.​
2.
Reconnect with your children
​​Despite popular parenting mythology, the only true power any of us have with our children is the magical evolutionary power of connection.
Cooperation and care cannot be born out of fear, reward or punishment; they can (and reliably do) arise from a willing and loving child who will follow you anywhere because of the deep attachment bond you share.
When our connection with our children is strained by the vagaries and stresses of a world that does not prioritise this precious human connection, our relationships, our peace and the functioning of family life will suffer. And so will we.
Connection is a strong, malleable rope made up of thousands of spider web threads woven in the myriad of individual moments of daily life. Weaving this thread is not about grand gestures, extravagant outings, perfect words or Christmas-card moments; it is about how we interact with our children in the mundane moments of our daily lives together.
The truth is, by virtue of your nature as a human being, you already have all the resources you need to have a peaceful, easy connection with your children.
We evolved to live as deeply interconnected creatures; our brains, bodies and nervous systems are perfectly designed to support this. Connection is not a new skill we need to learn so much as a birthright we might rekindle. We can learn to redirect energy we are currently leaking into behaviour challenges, guilt and conflict and pour this into reliable, consistent, unconditionally loving daily connection with our children.​
3.
Learn peaceful ways to manage conflict
For many of us, challenging behaviour and disagreements with our children are a pretty constant pebble in our parenting shoes. When there is tension, we tend to revert to habitual patterns of blame, judgment and reactivity. We don’t know how to bring back connection, establish understanding and identify solutions that care for everyone’s needs.
Managing behaviour challenges, conflict and tension in a peaceful way takes conscious, deliberate attention to learn the art of honest expression, the skills of dialogue and empathy, how to express your needs honestly and make clear, doable requests in a way that you are more likely to be heard.
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There is no magic bullet to make behaviour challenges and conflict go away. But we can learn ways to manage these inevitable daily struggles in a way that will cultivate peace and understanding rather than resentment and rebellion.
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The magical part is that once you learn how to navigate relational challenges using peaceful methods, these moments can become a doorway to greater connection with yourself and your children.​ Your life can be a whole lot easier!
If you are ready to prioritise these steps of building connection, it is absolutely possible to interrupt the downward cycle of chaos. By redirecting our precious time and energy into supporting new, life-giving patterns we can rebuild connection and restore peace in our families.
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In this programme you will have a chance to:
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Pause, take a deep breath, notice what is happening within yourself and inside your family. ​
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Interrupt the downward cycle of conflict and chaos that has been dragging you down.
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Learn skills and principles that can transform your relationship with your children from within. ​​
Core elements of the programme
This is no ordinary parenting course. It is designed to be a flexible, supportive, transformational experience for overwhelmed parents. We are here to hold your hand and walk you through these life changing steps. Here are some of the core elements included in the course.​​
Live mentoring sessions
In this programme, you are not left to struggle alone. Each week, we will all come together for a 2-hour live group coaching session (two time slots available, to suit NZ/Aus, Europe and USA, recorded if you can’t make it). This is a chance for you to ask your questions, watch live demonstrations, listen to other people’s questions, meet with your homegroup and receive direct support, mentoring and coaching from us.
Homegroups
For your time in the programme, you will be placed in a homegroup with 3-4 others. Each week during the live coaching call, you will have a chance to meet together, share any celebrations or challenges, ask questions, receive empathy, and practice skills together. These will be your core go-to people to support you for the duration of the course, and perhaps beyond.
Weekly email
Each week, you will receive an email from us outlining the main focus for your week, your practice focus, and pointing you to all of the resources you need to support your journey. This gives you a central place to check in each week to see what is going on and where we are up to as a group
Quality video lessons
Each week you will be guided through a series of pre-recorded lessons relating to our topic for the week (around 90 minutes per week). You can watch these in your own time and from the comfort of your home (...think while lying waiting for children to sleep, while waiting for the pasta to boil, or even while in the bath! :)
Private community chat group
You will have access to a monitored group chat (like a facebook community, but private, just for our group). This is a supportive, non-judgemental space where you can share any experiences, celebrations or challenges that come up during our time together and ask any questions you have.
Practices and exercises
To support real and lasting change in your life, our video lessons include a range of exercises to support you to integrate material into your daily life, including worksheets, journalling processes and meditations. We will also send you written exercises you can do between sessions (e.g. daily journalling exercises) and skill practices you can do with your homegroup.
Who is this programme designed for?
This programme has been lovingly designed for parents who are feeling overwhelmed and are ready and motivated to bring about deep, long term change within themselves, their relationship with their children and in their family lives, and are eager to devote significant time, energy and care to bringing this about.
This programme is likely to be a good fit for you if:
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You are longing for a loving and easy connection with your children, but you are not sure about the best way to bring this wish into your daily, lived reality.
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​​You are experiencing chaos and lack of order in your daily life: you are often running late, there is mess everywhere and your family seems to disagree about everything.
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You know you are ready to change these dynamics but you are unsure what is the first step.
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You are curious and eager to learn about your child, yourself, and the science and art of connection.
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You are ready and willing to make changes in your life, and may have been actively seeking out support for some time now (through books, youtube, courses, therapy etc) but are confused about how to piece it all together.
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You feel uncertain or confused about the different parenting methods you see around you, with people in your life giving you all sorts of contradictory advice. You want to find a way that works well for you and your children.
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You are attracted to the principles of gentle-parenting approaches (e.g. peaceful parenting, simple parenting, conscious parenting, mindful parenting, attachment parenting or NVC parenting) but you want some support to apply and integrate the principles smoothly, deeply and permanently into your daily life with your children.
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You want to be confident in your parenting, even in moments of conflict or when there is challenging behaviour.
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You find yourself using parenting strategies that don’t align with your values or your vision of what you want your life with your children to be like (e.g. shouting, hitting, guilt and shame tactics, rewards and punishments, overusing screens, bribes etc) but you are struggling to find other ways that work.
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In quiet moments, your mind may wander to anxiety about your children and what might become of them (e.g. If they are like this now, will they become delinquents?? Will they ever be able to cope in the real world?) or may become lost in swirls of guilt and shame (Why did I shout again? What is wrong with me?!)
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If you recognise yourself in any of these statements, this course is likely to be a good fit for your goals and aspirations.
What is the time commitment?
To get the most out of the From Chaos to Connection programme, and to bring about deep, long-term changes in yourself, your family and your relationship with your children, we recommend that you set aside around 4 hours per week, including​:
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Reading through the weekly emails we will send you to set out the focus for your next couple of weeks (about 15 mins per week).
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Watching the video lessons for the week (~1-2 hours per week)
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Attending the live group coaching session and homegroup practice (2 hours per week)
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Reading learning material for the sessions and working through the practice exercises (about 30 mins per week).
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Daily journalling and self-reflection exercises (e.g. first thing in the morning or before bed) (~15 mins)
What will I learn?
For a full 11-week overview of the programme, click here.
What does the programme cost?
The short answer:
$110 USD deposit + Pay What you Are Willing and Able at the end
(OR $820 USD flat fee)
The fuller answer:
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There are two ways you can pay for this course; a conventional way (for busy people who just want ease and simplicity), and a gift economy approach (our preferred method, perfect for the experimental idealists among us).
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OPTION 1: The Gift Economy (Pay what you can) option
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This programme is offered on a gift economy (pay what you are willing and able) basis, meaning that we would love for our offerings to be received as a gift, and we hope that people can likewise see their financial contribution as a gift. We invite people to find an amount to contribute that really feels comfortable for them to offer without stretching into hardship while also supporting us to continue doing this work we love so much.​
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1. Deposit. Upon registration, you send in a $110 USD deposit to confirm your spot. This is the amount we need to cover the direct costs of a course like this (i.e. the online course platform, email software etc). ​​
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2. Pay what you are willing and able. At the end of the programme, as we finish our last weeks together, you will be given the opportunity to pay whatever you are willing and able to contribute on top of your initial deposit (You will be given plenty of time and guidance on this decision. No pressure and no rush. This is slow, needs-based economics). You are free to nominate any amount, and we will invoice you for this figure. ​​
OPTION 2: The Conventional "Market Value" option​
We recognise that the gift economy approach can be a bit uncertain and daunting for some people. If you prefer the clarity and certainty of a set price, you are welcome to pay a flat price of $820 NZD upon registration in this programme. This amount reflects the standard “market value” of a course like this (reflecting the time, expertise, care and resources that go into preparing and offering an interactive, intensive programme like this).
Eight great reasons to join us now
1.You can pay whatever you are willing and able
This programme is currently offered on a Gift Economy basis - you have the option to pay whatever you are willing and able to pay at the very end of the programme (alternatively, you can choose to pay a flat “market value” fee of $820 USD up front). The gift economy allows us to offer our services in a way that integrates our values and move towards a world where resources flow to people's needs.
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2. This is a rare opportunity
This course is an intensive, community-cohort course that we are only able to offer a few times each year. There will be two intakes for 2025 (March and August).
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3. The power of community
One of the ways this programmes supports real, lasting progress is by offering the motivational power and support of a community of like minded parents who will travel through the programme with you. You will have your home group, a small group you will meet with weekly, and online connection with the wider group.
4. The power of a focused burst of time
Sometimes a short, focused burst is just what we need to make deep and lasting change in our lives. By setting aside 11 weeks, you can devote some real energy, time and focus on working towards your vision of peaceful family connection. This is long enough to learn and integrate some new practices into your life, but short enough that you can probably sustain a high degree of focus and motivation.
5. The power of materials and content designed to support transformation
We have been running this course in various forms for a number of years, each time refining, adding and revisiting based on feedback with participants. Our goal is not just to “teach you some stuff” but to take your hand and walk you through a journey of real change.
6. If not now, then when?
This may not be the right time for you, and if not we sincerely hope you take the time you need and don’t rush in. But it is worth considering, if not now, when might be the “right” time? What factors would need to be in place? Creating deep connection takes time, focus and energy…and it also gives back each of those in spades. In the long term, this is a reallocation of your precious energy from focusing on things that drain, exhaust and deplete you and onto things that build, nurture and refresh you.
7. A chance for visioning, self reflection, and taking stock
This is a chance to sit with yourself and really take stock of the factors that are contributing to your challenging family life. It is a chance to hear similar stories, be heard about what is so hard for you and what you want to do differently, all in supportive and caring environment. All of us have a deep vision for loving, peaceful family life locked up in us, we just need a bit of support and the right tools to work towards this vision.
8. The power of guidance and support
To make deep and lasting change in our lives, we need support! This package is carefully designed to give you the support you need to make deep and lasting changes in your life and relationships. You will have us there as skilled and experienced guides to support you each step of the way, to motivate and encourage you, to answer your questions, coach and mentor you and share our experience and knowledge.
To sum up
From Chaos to Connection: An 11-week community-based online programme to support you to (finally) bring about the peaceful, connected family life that you are longing for.
Work with a small group of like-minded people for an intensive, transformation-focused programme.
A mix of pre-recorded content to watch in your own time, community support and live mentoring and guidance from Sally.
Next intake: 10 March 2025
Offered on a Gift Economy (pay what you are willing/able) basis (or flat fee of $820 USD)